It astounds me that it took me less than an hour to catch up on my entire F-list minus two. I don't think I'd realized how few of us (or, more accurately, you) still post on even a semi-regular basis.

I'm very proud of myself this week: I maxed out my PT test for the first time since OCS - for the first time since my car accident. My OCS PT test was slightly better, but only by about 3 seconds on my run. My raw scores were 83 push-ups, 83 sit-ups, and a run time of 15:26. By my calculations, that comes out to 341. For some reason, the company claims it's a 351.... In any case, it's the company high, and I'm terribly pleased about it.

I just learned that I've been misspelling Villarreal's name all this time. Two Rs, Pua, two Rs. How mortifying. The anal-retentive part of me is sorely tempted to go back and edit every single instance of his name, lest posterity should stumble upon my unwitting error.

I come bearing peace offerings. ( Click me! )

Um, hi.
I'm still alive.
I have lots of news, but nothing to say.
I'm sorry for falling off the planet, but I'm not really back on the planet yet.
I just thought I should check in and say hi, and I'm still alive.

That's all.

I FUCKING HATE Valentine's Day.

Just saying.

Also, I finally have Internet at home. I can now freely vent my frustration into the intarwebz! I know this thrills you all immensely.

STOP THE PRESSES. MY LUGGAGE HAS FINALLY ARRIVED. THE WORLD CAN START TURNING AGAIN.

Twilight movie review! Because I KNOW you were DYING to hear my take on it.

( Cut for ranting and TMI. )

One of our instructors has noted that we are the most literate EN BOLC class he's ever seen. In support of this claim, I note that since my arrival at FLW just over a month ago, I have finished five books, am halfway through a sixth, and have just begun a seventh. Prior to that, I'd read only four books since shipping to Basic in February. Granted, that's not particularly impressive, especially in comparison with the rest of your voracious literary appetites, but I'm still proud of myself. Rediscovering books has been an unexpected pleasure.

In class yesterday, one of my fellow classmates had Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes, which he'd just finished reading. I asked how he'd liked it, and in response he handed it to me to flip through. When class resumed ten minutes later, I was halfway through the first chapter and so thoroughly engrossed that Popese said I should just take it and finish it. The guys around me spent the rest of the day laughing at my obvious absorption. I returned it today. SO. FASCINATING. I MUST see if the library has the others. Assuming Popese doesn't get to them first....

In other news...ugh. I'd rather not discuss it. Life is fairly dismal at present, hence the lack of updates.

AAAAAAAUUUGGGHHH.

Someone PLEASE teach me how to deal with guys, because CLEARLY, I do not know how.

I miss Ermes. And, weirdly, I miss Shu and Ward. I miss "safe" guys.

( This is what I MEANT to post last night... )

Yes, my journal view is, for some reason, retarded, but if you click on the pictures and view them in Scrapbook, they're properly oriented.

So BOLC II is over. Overall, I'd have to say that the program a) sucked and b) should be scrapped and brought back to the drawing board. It is THAT bad. Things I learned in BOLC II:
- how to disassemble an M4
- how (not) to conduct Convoy Ops
- variations on stacking drills
- how not to lead a platoon

Yeah. Waste of time. Not a TOTAL loss, but something that I feel really should just be added onto OCS or OBC. Everything useful could have been condensed into about two weeks and integrated into the curricula already in place. Yes, I imagine OCS would suck even more if it were fourteen or sixteen weeks long. But that's still shorter than the nineteen weeks of OCS and BOLC II combined.

The last week in the field sucked. The actual activities weren't too bad; some were even kind of fun (like playing OPFOR, heh). But the cadre BS and FRAGOs were out of control. And the ruck march was utterly miserable. I got the worst blister I've had in years, and spent the entire march struggling desperately to not fall out (and succeeding only by Dyer and Farinelli pacing me).

This past week was just boring. Lots of weapons and barracks maintenance. Lots of standing in lines. Lots of tedious-but-necessary concluding details. Lame social/graduation ceremony on Wednesday night. And a five-mile company run that I fell out of. *sigh* I'm going to have to work my ass off to get back into the shape I was in after OCS.

Last night, a bunch of us went out. A last hurrah for BOLC II, if you will. Dinner at BWWW (Buffalo Wild Wings West; pronounced "bee dub") followed by drinks and karaoke at Gert's. Snider, Ward, and I were the first to BWWW, and conversation somehow turned to Ward's inability to pick up women. Spent an hour listening to Snider give him tips and being the obligatory-female foil for Snider to demonstrate and Ward to practice on. Apart from it being absolutely hilarious (I haven't laughed that hard in I don't know how long), it was also quite the education. I may never again trust anything that comes out of a guy's mouth.

Oh, and that bet? You know, the one where Shumaker and Snider were supposed to make dinner for me and Myers? They totally backed out of it. They were supposed to cook (again) last Saturday, and then last Sunday, and then, all of a sudden, it was "Oops, I forgot to wash my TA-50! No time for cooking now." They took us to dinner at some little, podunk diner instead. Not to denigrate little, podunk diners, but it was just one of those "...seriously?" moments.

Next stop: Fort Leonard Wood, MO. Tomorrow. I'm running on about four hours of sleep right now. That plus allergies/cold (not sure what it is, but it's done on a number on my respiratory system and voice) have rendered me completely unfit for a seven-hour drive today.

After yesterday's abysmal entry, I feel obliged to update on the status of my wellbeing (or lack thereof?).

PT today SUCKED. I fell out of our paltry three-mile run - before the two-mile mark, even, I think - and nearly passed out. It was hours before I felt even sort of okay again. Combatives were an improvement in that I only experienced headache and nausea.

After lunch, though, things got a little better. We had two hours of classes, which was painful, given that all I wanted to do was sleep, but at least no physical exertion was required beyond that of staying awake (torture enough in its own right). That was followed by another couple hours putting together TA-50 and getting to know our squad mentors, and then we were released to our own devices.

I went to AT&T and begged for help with my cell phone. It seems that when I tried to change my text plan online last Saturday (which was when I abruptly stopped receiving texts), I somehow cancelled my entire text plan. I'm not sure how that happened, given that I got an e-mail confirmation of the changes I thought I'd made. But anyway, problem fixed now. I can receive text messages again, huzzah!

And I think maybe this bug is plaguing me just a little bit less than it was last night. *crosses fingers hopefully* Also, the shin continues to look better, as far as the weird discolouration is concerned.

Reason #412 to love Starbucks: One of the baristas there is probably the only other person in this town who actually knows who Belle & Sebastian are.

I think I'm coming down with something. Scratchy swollen throat, congested sinuses, borderline headache, and dry, racking cough, yay. And a three-mile run tomorrow. Plus four hours of combatives. Every day this week.

Also, my phone seems to have stopped receiving text messages, which is far more distressing than it has any right to be. I THINK I can still send texts; I'm just not receiving the ones people claim they've sent me.

Furthermore, my shin now looks like ( this. )

Today has not been a good day.

On the bright side, surely Monday won't actually be worse.

Random observations:

If I ever end up switching fully to my gmail account, I suspect that it will be inspired by nothing so much as extreme annoyance with the "Inline Attachment Follows" header on every e-mail reply I get from a gmail account.

The highlight of yesterday was the STD briefing we had before lunch. The perfectly horrifying, graphically illustrated STD briefing. I am NEVER going to have sex. Ever. (I mentioned the briefing to Ermes, and he laughed and exclaimed, "Were there pictures? I give that briefing!" and then proceeded to reminisce fondly about people's reactions.)

Starbucks is taking over the world. And I am glad. Sometimes it feels like the only bastion of civilization, or a breath of fresh air, or an oasis in a desert. One also meets some truly fascinating people there.

I am starting to lose count of the number of conversations that have started because someone saw me reading Lois McMaster Bujold. I had three of them today alone. Mer, I blame you.

BOLC II, so far, is boring. We've done some inprocessing with finance and lots of inprocessing with medical. Also the requisite inprocessing with supply (which, amazingly, was relatively quite quick). I am so sick of sitting/standing in line. Still, as Tiberio puts it, we get paid to stand in line! How great is that?

Proper training should start up next Monday. In the meantime, PT test tomorrow morning. I'm not quite dreading it, but I'm not really looking forward to it, either.

If I could have the last two and a half weeks to do over, I think I should be perfectly happy. Instead, I am perfectly miserable. Ah, self-loathing, I've missed you.

I really, really need to get that "No Takebacks" tattoo I've been playing with for the last two months.

Heather and I commence the drive to Oklahoma today.

Haha! I am FINALLY 100% caught up on everyone's Eljays. This somehow feels like a monumental accomplishment. Now to get back into the habit of keeping up with and commenting on said journals....

I can walk! Not well, and even less well in heels, but I can walk without my crutches, and goshdarnit, I'm going to. I have a whole new perspective on crutches in particular and the disabled in general. Also, the staples are out, and the wounds are looking good. Not great, and definitely not normal, but the thigh is pretty much all scabbed over, finally; and the shin is filling in nicely and starting to resemble the thigh about two weeks ago (or...thirteen days ago; i.e. lacking skin, but otherwise in good health).

I have new shoes. *grins with proprietorial glee* They are black patent, 4" stilettos. Pointy toe (but not too pointy), with an interesting V that displays just a little toe cleavage. They are the first pair of shoes I've bought that could be categorized as "fuck me" pumps. I like them lots.

I have my clothes! Not all of them, but all the ones I desperately wanted. The Fullertons kindly gave me a lift to the storage facility, and I reclaimed my camera and several of my bestest, favouritest garments (YAY, BSG hoodie!). (*sniffle* If only I had room for my shoes, CDs, and DVDs, too....)

In other, less celebratory news, I'm glad I'm leaving DC tomorrow. Being here is confusing. I love DC, but it doesn't fit like it used to.

The leg's doing better. I can kind of walk on it now, at least around, say, an apartment or an office. I kind of feel like a cane would be more appropriate than crutches at this point; crutches seem like an exaggeration of the injury.

Emmie asked me to be a bridesmaid today. For some reason, this seems like a Significant and Noteworthy event. The wedding is next July, so there is a good chance that I'll be able to attend. Also, I actually quite like her idea for dresses: She's going to get different-coloured ties for the six groomsmen and then distribute them among the bridesmaids. Our task is to match the ties with our dresses. There will be some other parameters (knee-length, probably, and doubtless some direction on sleeve-length or absence), but I get to buy my own dress! Thank God for not being saddled with some one-wear-only bridal monstrosity. Too, Emmie has promised to at least not saddle me with pink.

I feel like there should be more to this post, but nothing particularly interesting comes to mind.

I miss dance. And running. And rain and cold weather. And also Fort Benning, which is just sick. Especially given my recent OCS nightmares.

I need a "meh" t-shirt.

Go read this blog entry. It's very à propos. Kind of depressingly so.

I know I kind of suck as a friend right now. But please know that I love and miss every one of you very, very much.

Just got back from five days in the field. Five days of hot humidity without showers or decent food or good sleep or even tents. The first two days were Land Navigation, which meant that we were sent into the woods with a compass, a map, a protractor, a pencil, and the grid coordinates for several points, with the requirement that we find a majority of the points for a passing grade. Went out Monday afternoon to practice for three hours; had to find three of five points. Probably walked close to seven miles. Went out Monday evening to practice Night Land Nav for another three hours; had four points and had to find...as many as possible, really. Some of us found all, some found none; I found two. Walked probably another four miles. Tuesday, we got up at 0300 to start our preliminary test at 0400. Five hours to find five of nine points. I made it, but barely. By hour four, I had three points and wasn't sure I was going to make it, but my last two points turned out to be fairly easy to find, and then I raced the two miles back to camp. Those of us who passed the preliminary test were done with Land Nav for the week, thank God. My feet hurt so much; fifteen miles (at least) of rough terrain in two days, with three hours of sleep in the middle is brutal.

The rest of the week, we spent learning and practicing the things we're going to be graded on during our ten-day FLX, which starts tomorrow. It wasn't really that horrible, but it was really hot and people started getting cranky from the heat and dirt and general discomfort, and then it was all downhill. Saturday, it all culminated in a seven-mile ruck march, which sucked immensely. About half of it was on hardball (asphalt) roads; the other half was on sand or gravel. It was hard, and we had about five people go down from heat injuries. Only one actually on the ruck march, but four more later on, because their bodies were so drained from the march.

And one IDIOT got serious testosterone poisoning and overpacked his ruck to roughly half his bodyweight (our rucks aren't supposed to weigh more than 30% of our bodyweight) and ended up nearly falling out of the march and then going down with heat exhaustion almost as soon as we got back to camp. And the irony? HE USED TO BE A COMBAT MEDIC. He should KNOW better. I say again, idiot.

We got back to the barracks around 1030 yesterday morning. Spent the next six hours working on cleanup and random busywork; we were released at 1630. We were only given an on-post pass, but we got to wear civvies, so no one complained too much. Anyhow, we were all too tired to try to go off-post. And there's a "brew pub" (or what passes for one around here) right around the corner from the barracks, so alcohol was readily available for those who wanted it. Quite a few people went and rapidly rendered themselves quite inebriated. I went and laughed at them. Also imbibed, but not to great excess. Said brew pub suffered a sad lack of palatable beverages. I think their house gin (which is the only gin they stock) may be the worst gin I've ever tasted. But it was fun. Drunken conversations are almost always entertaining. And it felt really good to be in normal clothes, in a semi-civilized environment, enjoying a beer like a normal person.

In other news, we entered Senior Phase last Monday, which means that we are officially halfway through OCS. As of now, we have five weeks left. Also, we got our branches on Thursday. I was branched Engineering. I'm not really sure how I feel about it. I'm not horrified, but I'm not quite thrilled, either.

P.S. Yes, the promised post is still coming. Yes, it's still in the works. Yes, it's probably going to be another two weeks before it actually gets posted.

I have to be in formation in about ten minutes, so this is liable to be a short one. Unless it turns into one of the "I didn't have time to write a short letter"-type updates.

OCS isn't bad. In fact, it's considerably less bad than Basic was. On the whole.

I'm still finding myself inclined to curl up into a little ball of misery at night, though. Especially now that we actually have time to stop and breathe and (horror) think in the evenings.

The people here are great, and my platoon has this amazing sense of camaraderie, unlike anything we ever had in Basic. I love it.

I'm still not making friends, per se, though. And after the day is done, when we get time to study and make phone calls and take showers, I find myself feeling lost and lonely and miserable. Despite having two roommates and a floor full of people around me. I hate it.

I miss my life. I'm not sorry that I'm here. I'm even sort of almost happy here. But I still miss my life. What was my life, that is.

Still no sign of my laptop. I'm starting to worry. Heather promised it'd be in the mail by last Monday, and given that it still hasn't arrived, I'm wondering if it got lost in the mail. Which would SUCK beyond belief.

Sara, thank you for the letter. It made my evening a little happier.